Pages- Some of you have asked to see some of the older prayers/songs that I wrote (arr. by year)

Older Writing- 2010

Does it?
written 1-6-10
Does it:
Make your ears ring?
Make your eyes sting?
Make your mind race?
Make your heart skip?
Make your gut twist?
Make your throat burn?
Make your lungs gasp?
Do you find that doing something about it is no longer an option?
We must live for God’s calling or we aren’t really living life.
Praise
written 3-22-10
The rain - Your great provision
The sun- Your grace that grows me
Whether leaves unfurl or are falling down,
You are good.
The fog - Your love surrounds me
The wind - Your Spirit moves me
The song and chatter of birds and squirrels,
Your praises always sing.
Beneath my feet, sand or snow may crunch, 
but You know all
You watch
please grant
Your peace
and joy.
Gotta run
written 4-10-10
Gotta run
Gotta fly
straight into the eye 
of the storm
'cause that's where I was born
to live
Fill me up 
with Your grace
help me live to bring 
You praise
Cascade love around
and through me here.
I don't know... Summer
written 6-14-10
I don’t know 
I don’t care
I don’t want to be here
I just want to be done
and to have some summer fun
The wind whispers through the leaves
The grass comes to my knees
The sun filters down
and invites me to come out 
and run
I don’t know 
I don’t care
I don’t want to be here
I just want to be done
and to have some summer fun
No One Else
written 7-8-10
I want to go 
where no one else will go.
I want to be 
who no one else will be.
I want to reach
those that no one else will notice.
I want to say
what no one else will say.
I want to love
when no one else will love.
Why? Simple.
Because Jesus saved me
when no one else could.

Can I Dream a Dream Forgotten
written 11-11-09, modified 7-14-10
Can I dream a dream forgotten?
Can I count the cost?
Can I find a life worth living?
Can I love the lost?
Can I give and can I follow?
Can I drink deeper still?
Can I live a new tomorrow?
Can I trust in Your will?
You have dreamed a dream forgotten.
You counted the cost.
You've given me a life worth living.
And said to love the lost.
Help me give and help me follow.
Help me drink deeper still.
I will live for Your tomorrow.
Help me trust in Your will.

Monster 
unfinished
written 8-16-10
Who is this monster within?
It's not Your child, but sin.
just buried not cured
can play the role, but losing it
Won't be totally real until this is conquered.
Can we run?
Can we fall?
Can we even crawl?
'Cause I don't know
what this takes,
just feel I'm gonna break.
They say yes,
they say no.
Which way do I go?
Fill me up,
pour me out,
Just don't let me waste this life.
Keep monotony out of sight!
for the life I wish I'd had, 
for the past I lived instead, 
for the dreams that will never come, 
and for the peace that lies shattered 
in 12 million pieces at my feet. 
I can't do anything right.
They say yes,
they say no.
Which way do I go?
Fill me up,
pour me out,
Just don't let me waste this life.
Keep monotony out of sight!
Fading
written 9-29-10
I see the world
through an artist’s eyes,
while trying to live
in a scientist’s disguise-
a fixed prison, void of all imagination.
Misunderstood
by classmates and profs.
Trying to escape,
seeking a refuge in school,
yet school turned to a nightmare: disappointment reigns.
I long for home
and yet push it away.
Thinking back on those carefree days,
curled up in a corner on coats and covers backstage,
reading books, drawing floorplans-
it was my daily escape.
Then thrown out to the world,
the music from my past quickly fades.
The world said sink or swim
and I rapidly sink.
At first it was fun,
an air of danger and freedom,
the water closed in
and I relaxed in it’s embrace.
It was safe, it was known,
a former friend, but now it turned.
It pulled me deeper,
and held me under longer.
The game turned to pain
and I started to panic.
This is now how you find me,
in a box at the bottom,
bound by the chains of my own making,
not realizing the danger they possessed.
At times I am struggling,
trying to tear free,
but forgetting which way is up,
where air and life breath.
Other times, I am still,
resigned to my fate.
I won’t make it.
I failed.
I feel my heart break.
I’ve been called to a dream that I don’t understand,
to people unmet in a far foreign land.
The dream is sweet, the promises rich and fulfilling.
I wake from the sleep,
and the emptiness is drilling
me deeper and deeper
down to the ground.
Here I sit making mud pies,
refusing to go
to the holiday offered me
next to the sea.
The dream fades from view,
unattainable,
unreached.
I sit covered in mud
as I inwardly weep.

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