Trying

My friend,

You can conquer the world. 

Life is never as bad as it seems to be. 

Dreams are not dreamt, if not meant to be. 

Never despair. 

Cast every care aside. 

It's onward and upward from here. 

Take every goal in stride. 

Pull yourself back on your feet. 

I've got your back and we've got a world to meet. 

They may not always be nice, 

but then again we are not mice. 

They expect us to thrash and kill and destroy, 

but we'll show them love and peace and joy. 

Our tempers must be calmed, 

our smiles genuine, 

our purpose evident. 

Neglect no one. 

Take the time for each, 

Filling them even when you feel empty. 

Loving even when bitterness surrounds you. 

Listening amidst the noise. 

Undistracted by the world's unsatisfying toys. 

Keep your mission in view 

wherever your Commander may send you. 

Greet the world with love.

That is what I would tell you.

But I am not you.

You are much more driven than I.

I am a dreamer

(and at times a schemer),

an idealist.

Living each day in blissful mist.

But sometimes the smoke clears

then I sink,

I drop

faster than a lead balloon,

as if stabbed by a sharp harpoon,

down to the depths of despair.

Here I rest.

Unknowing of the next step to take

not sure how to make the break,

how to take the step,

how to stop being paralyzed by this treacherous thing-

bound by the dreams and HABITS I've formed

brought to a place where I'm filled with self-scorn.

I don't know what to do or where to turn

I want to live

I want to love

I want every dream to come to life

I want to go spreading salt, being light.

Why then does my will take flight?

Where does it cower?

Why does it hide?

Am I forever destined a part on the sides?

Too scared to step forward?

To really make a difference?

Am I going to waste this gift of life?

When will I learn to truly take flight?

I don't want to fail again 

and feel as though that is all I can do now

I shoot for the stars and land in the dirt.

Over and over again.

A route to nothing.

A road to nowhere.

I'm stranded on an island-

an island of procrastination and fear.

Can I get over myself?

Set down my pride?

Accept imperfection without running to hide?

Stop being afraid to fail?

Fling myself into each thing completely?

If I try my dreams out, will I succeed?

I'm going to try trying.

Can I do two things at the same time? 

Could I minister to those around me? 

Is it bad to pursue that?

Can I follow through on my commitment to trying?